Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
