I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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