The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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