is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
