Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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