Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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