Soap is not a condiment
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Vodka?
Forever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
