This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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