their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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