Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
