After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
