she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
