So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
