So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
