Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He? As in you personified your dick?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize