The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dicks are not precious.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
