I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
