her vagine was all disorganized.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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