Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
