would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
