But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
