I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
