I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize