There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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