You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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