i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
