JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
