it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
