I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
