dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
