And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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