well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
