It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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