I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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