So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
