Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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