Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
