I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
