the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
