I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
