We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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