Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
