Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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