She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
