the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
