Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
