i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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