It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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