It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I want is dick and wine.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
