I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I look better un-naked...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will be naked everywhere
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
