i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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