Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
