This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
