she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
