I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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