I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
