I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
