Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
