Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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