...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
