I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And then my night got REAL pukey
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
