All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
