nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
