Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
