this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize