Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
