Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
MIDGETS
????
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
