i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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